Girls who go to finishing school know all of the Mortal Kombat fatalities.
Don’t you hate it when you claw your way out of your grave just to realize you left your keys in the coffin?
Any car can be a dream car if you fall asleep while you’re driving.
Jesus: … when you saw only one set of footprints, that’s when I was carrying you.
Me: What about that spot with lots of footprints?
Jesus: I didn’t want to alarm you, but I did also fight some ninjas who were stalking us.