Can we all just agree that nothing needs to be connected to Facebook ever?
*does something weird*
*looks around for witnesses*
*sees no one*
*does something weird, LOUDER*
There was a spider in my bathroom so I threw the cat at it. The spider is dead but the cat’s pretty pissed
This cop is driving so fast it’s like he’s trying to keep up with me
Saw this guy having engine troubles with his smart car. So I got out my son’s legos and built him a new one. I’m such a giver