*goes on Facebook AGAIN*
*reads 100,000th idiotic post*
*thinks other people are stupid*
I see your point. You’re right. My timing could have been much better. I’m sorry I proposed to you at your father’s funeral.
listen, officer – t h e o r e t i c a l l y – would I still get a carpool lane ticket if I have a body in the trunk
me: *tries to help old lady cross the street*
old lady: I have a boyfriend.
Taken 3 ~ It All Ends Here
Taken 4 ~ Listen, We’re Just As Surprised As You Are
Taken 5 ~ Whaaaaat!? Yep…
Been coughing all day. Can’t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
Seems like Hello Kitty should be a brand of condoms.
Restaurant Hostess: “Sorry about the wait.”
Me: “It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize for being overweight.”
Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn’t think of this.
Just saw a spider. It was sleeping. I crawled into its mouth.