Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of BlackJerms's best tweets

@BlackJerms : *Job interview Him: Any special achievements? Me: Yeah, my tweet got published on BuzzFeed H: Alright, you're hired M: Really? H: No.

@BlackJerms: Post more gym selfies so I know who to call when I need to move

@BlackJerms: I'm an introvert but also a narcissist so if you could find a way to praise and compliment me without having to talk to me, that'd be great

@BlackJerms: Rappers reintroduce themselves on their songs but you expect me to remember who you are because we met a couple of days ago? LOL

@BlackJerms: So what do you think?
New hair?
No
Shoes?
No
Bag?
No
Pants?
No

* 3 days later watching TV

OMG u rearranged the living room

- Men

@BlackJerms: At Twitter HQ

J: Users haven't complained in a while, what's going on?

Devs: Oh, we've got just the thing

*releases update

@BlackJerms: Me: So tired

Brain: IKR!! But wait, who organised the alphabet...

M: Please don't

B: N how do we know it's not actually disorganized?

@BlackJerms: I'm pretty sure Morgan Freeman was narrating while the universe was being created

@BlackJerms: I haven't really been as disappointed as I was when I realised that the movie 'Breakfast Club', actually had nothing to do with food