Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@BlindVigil : Here's my ONLY problem with Evolution:
When the chocolate chip evolved, how did the raisin not go extinct?
@BlindVigil: I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than my cat, but he refuses to take the test.
It unnerves me, because that's totally what a genius would do...
@BlindVigil: What do you call a potato/corn crime fighting duo?
Starchy and Husk
@BlindVigil: "My pleasure, doll"
"My pleasure doll"
Commas can make a world of difference...
@BlindVigil: Her: "Your funny"
Me: ".... Uh ya... this isn't gonna work"
@BlindVigil: I'm a champion of grammar;
A grampion, if you will.
@BlindVigil: "Impeccable" sounds like a general immunity to crow attacks...
@BlindVigil: I'll take a low-fat, mocha, chai, organic-soy-milk latte, with a shot of French vanilla, sprinkled with unicorn soul, please.
@BlindVigil: If I lived in Alabama, I'd name my daughter, 'Banjo-lina".
@BlindVigil: *Farmer walks into job application
Farmer: I barely speak English, and my village doesn't have a computer.
Employer: BOOM! Tech support!