Here’s my ONLY problem with Evolution:
When the chocolate chip evolved, how did the raisin not go extinct?
I’m pretty sure I’m smarter than my cat, but he refuses to take the test.
It unnerves me, because that’s totally what a genius would do…
What do you call a potato/corn crime fighting duo?
Starchy and Husk
“My pleasure, doll”
“My pleasure doll”
Commas can make a world of difference…
Her: “Your funny”
Me: “…. Uh ya… this isn’t gonna work”
I’m a champion of grammar;
A grampion, if you will.
“Impeccable” sounds like a general immunity to crow attacks…
I’ll take a low-fat, mocha, chai, organic-soy-milk latte, with a shot of French vanilla, sprinkled with unicorn soul, please.
If I lived in Alabama, I’d name my daughter, ‘Banjo-lina”.
*Farmer walks into job application
Farmer: I barely speak English, and my village doesn’t have a computer.
Employer: BOOM! Tech support!