@Bob_Janke I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid.
@Bob_Janke @Bob_Janke [second date]
Me: so… is this your first police chase?
@Bob_Janke I fit into my fat clothes again thank god I didn’t throw them away
@Bob_Janke [eating paste]
Here’s what I think…
@Bob_Janke People say “5 second rule” like that’s a thing. I just ate a piece of Thanksgiving candy off the floor.
@Bob_Janke I’ve found that women are never, impressed by what guys think will impress them. Also I just ran out of gas doing donuts in the parking lot
@Bob_Janke There is absolutely nothing to stop your dentist from putting small tracking devices in your mouth. How would you know. You wouldn’t
@Bob_Janke Cartoons were better when people got anvils dropped on them and accidentally smoked dynamite like cigars.
@Bob_Janke Attention Wiccans don’t forget to feed your snakes before you go stand around in a graveyard all night tonight
@Bob_Janke Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.