@Bob_Janke why is covid-19 trending does anyone know
@Bob_Janke @Bob_Janke I’ve waited and prepared my whole life for an end of the world scenario
[gets killed and eaten in the first 10 minutes]
@Bob_Janke [wearing a negative pressure suit and a space helmet]
Her: Are you really that worried about the virus?
Me: Virus?
@Bob_Janke If you put a drier sheet in your car’s visor, your car will smell fresh for days
[Looks under visor]
Hey wait a minute this is a slice of ham
@Bob_Janke Hitting people with a metal yard stick while wearing a “SOCIAL DISTANCING OFFICER” badge is now perfectly legal.
@Bob_Janke I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid.
@Bob_Janke [second date]
Me: so… is this your first police chase?
@Bob_Janke I fit into my fat clothes again thank god I didn’t throw them away
@Bob_Janke [eating paste]
Here’s what I think…
@Bob_Janke People say “5 second rule” like that’s a thing. I just ate a piece of Thanksgiving candy off the floor.