@Bob_Lesh

*takes off hat*
“I’m afraid I have some bad news ma’am”
*puts on her hat*
“I’ve stolen your hat”

@Bob_Lesh

Religious rituals and prayers sound really creepy when you replace “Jesus” with “Jeff”

@Bob_Lesh

For a cheap high after age 30, just squat down for a few minutes, then stand up really quickly.