Judas: *Sips wine* Great, water again, very funny
Jesus:HAHA I got you!
Judas: So glad this is our last supper
Me: Take this
My Uber passenger: *holds gun in blood soaked car* WTF JUS HAPPENED?
Me: You tell me “Mr Finger prints on a murder weapon”
More like “science UN-fair”
*I walk away in slo-mo. The building explodes with baking soda lava*
*I roll a smoke with my 2nd place ribbon
Judas: How long are your arms?
Judas: Like in a cross, how long
Jesus: A what?
Judas:Across. How long across.
*ref blows whistle*
Whistle: oh, oh god, wow. Oh geeeze
911: Sir, I understand you think it did it against your will and was aggressive but we can’t arrest an auto flush toilet.
Me: I WASNT READY
God: Make some humans Sciencey
Angel: Will they believe in you?
God: No, but they’ll be so surprised when we meet!
Me: *Buys nutribullet* will this baby take down a vegan?
Cashier: No, it’s not an actual bu…
Me: *loads nutrigun*
Cashier: What the heck?
*Busts through Kool-aid mans wall*
Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home
Me: I’m sorr…
*A sippy cup starts crying*
*Full parking lot*
Me: IF THERE IS A GOD, FIND ME A SPOT AND I WILL BECOME RELIGIOUS!
*spot opens up*
Me: NEVER MIND, I FOUND ONE!