Hey where’s Brian?
“Oh he’s taking a p_ _p”
“Um dropping a d_ _c_”
“Taking a sh_t….Uhh Cr_p!”
Oh! He’s evacuating his vowels?
Hey whatcha eating?
Wtf is a pluot?
“A cross between a plum & an apricot”
That’s really stupid.
*rides off on a liger*
Hey check out this new candle I got.
-Sweet. What flavor is it?
I think you mean ‘what scent is it?’
*with a mouthful of candle wax*
*Trains lightning bugs to spell*
Karen, they have a message for u
WILL YOU M-
Oh good. Here I packed your bags already.
Dr., your client Tony is here
-Tony? The guy whose skin is made of bubble wrap
-Oh hell yes clear the rest of my schedule
Ok hear me out.
It’s an airplane made out of cats.
It cant crash. Always lands on it’s feet.
Did you really get a crocodile tattooed around your belly button?
-IT’S AN ALLIGATOR KAREN. GOD YOU’RE SUCH AN IDIOT.
First time flying huh?
-Yeah how could you tell?
Just a hunch. You wanna come down to your seat? The overhead bin is typically for luggage.
(Don’t let her know you can’t read)
Yes I’ll have this
*points to menu*
-So you want the gratuity of 15% added to parties of 8 or more?
If I had a nickel for every time I had a nickel I would just continue getting nickels until I had all the nickels.