Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us
@BringDaNoyz : who needs a boyfriend when you could be surrounded by beautiful lizards, all kinds of lizards, so many lizards
@BringDaNoyz: ME: I wanna be the very best like no one ever was
Prof Oak: [handing me Pokedex] there are 150-
ME: sorry how much work is this gonna be
@BringDaNoyz: I was at a Hanukkah party at my uncle's house and one of my cousins was like, "hey look it's bitcoin" and held up a piece of gelt that he'd taken a bite out of
@BringDaNoyz: ME: I shot a man in Reno--
YOU: Just to watch him die? haha
ME: I'm a desert photographer, Russell, you know this.
@BringDaNoyz: ME: [trying to console a friend whose house has been demolished] Cheer up, bulldozing is the sincerest form of flattery
@BringDaNoyz: Remember when the biggest problem we faced was Gangnam Style
@BringDaNoyz: *walks up to counter at funeral home*
EMPLOYEE: Can I help you?
ME: Hi, yes, I'll take one death, please.
@BringDaNoyz: "What kind of dog do you have?"
"Half Boxer, 1/4 Poodle, 1/8 Tibetan Mastiff, 1/8 Catahoula Leopard Dog"
"And what kind of cat?"
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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