@Bunnydurden

If you ever Google “Grandfather Clock”, be careful how you spell that shit.

@Bunnydurden

I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like.

@Bunnydurden

Try saying “good luck” without sounding sarcastic. Good luck.

@Bunnydurden

Hey Paul Ryan, why don’t you save some first names for the rest of us.

@Bunnydurden

Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.

@Bunnydurden

Hugs not drugs. Except, yes drugs and why are you touching me?