This virus would sound a lot cuter if it was referred to as more of a panda-demic.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Unless revenge is a meatloaf. That you should heat in the oven for forty-five minutes at 350 degrees.
I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like.
Sharks would be a lot less scary if they had ears.
Hey Paul Ryan, why don’t you save some first names for the rest of us.
People who don’t follow you but comment on tweets with ridiculously stupid opinions are just hecklers with all the charm of a pedophile.
Hugs not drugs. Except, yes drugs and why are you touching me?