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@Cali_Kid_Mike : "You clean up nicely", is just a polite way of saying, "You usually look like shit."
@Cali_Kid_Mike: Nice try government. But I'm not taking you back until I know where you've been for the last two weeks.
@Cali_Kid_Mike: What's the downside of house arrest?
@Cali_Kid_Mike: I just saw 125 spf sunblock. Maybe going outside isn't for everyone.
@Cali_Kid_Mike: Twitter Clique: (n) a small exclusive group of friends who promise to tell each other they are funny.
@Cali_Kid_Mike: Yesterday I told my aunt that DTF means "Doing the Facebook". Her daily posts are much more entertaining now.
@Cali_Kid_Mike: "Love means never having to say your sorry."
- someone who is very single
@Cali_Kid_Mike: So this smoke detector is trying to tell me the battery is so dangerously low that it can only beep 4000 times?
@Cali_Kid_Mike: I want to hold you till the end of time, or until I have to pee.
@Cali_Kid_Mike: Breaking: Fox News reports Obama is no longer a suspect.