@CanadianCyn

Mom: You need to get a hobby.

Me: Like photography?

Mom: I don’t think stalking the garbageman is a hobby.

@CanadianCyn

Today is my 18th wedding anniversary.

If my husband doesn’t give me a divorce as a gift I’m telling his girlfriend.

@CanadianCyn

The garbage man is late.

I think he’s been cheating on me with some other piece of trash.

@CanadianCyn

I wonder if mirrors every get tired of having their picture taken.

@CanadianCyn

Being on twitter has made my spelling, grammar and vocabulary so much gooder.

@CanadianCyn

This pill bottle says ‘Take with plenty of fluids’ and ‘Don’t take with alcohol’.

That doesn’t even make sense.

@CanadianCyn

I’ve found a diner. Or maybe it’s a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast.

@CanadianCyn

If I went back in time I’d tell myself…

“Don’t wait until 29 to become a stripper. You get to be naked, drunk and get paid for it!”

@CanadianCyn

If I’m old enough to be your mother we can’t date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink.