@CaniacMONK : "Is that a banana in your pocket or you just happy to see me?"
*Pulls out smart car
@CaniacMONK: Plot twist:
Everybody shoots Cupid with an arrow.
@CaniacMONK: When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult.
So yeah....kids are stupid.
@CaniacMONK: People who say they "Like to have fun"...
@CaniacMONK: My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
@CaniacMONK: I hope I get a good grade on my kids science project this year.
@CaniacMONK: *Works out on rowing machine
*Breaks rowing machine
*Doesn't know own strength
*Buys Doritos to celebrate
*Can't open bag
@CaniacMONK: I'm at my most brilliant when the door says "pull" and I don't believe it.
@CaniacMONK: *Sees thing on floor
*Vacuums over said thing
*Vacuum cant pick it up
*Picks up thing
*Looks at it
*Puts it back on the floor to vacuum