@Carter_TCB

Jesus Christ. They stole your tweet. Not your first born son.

@Carter_TCB

I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would’ve been a lot more interesting.

@Carter_TCB

One time I accidentally gave my cat acid. Thought he would really freak out but he just looked at me calmly and said meow for 10 hours.

@Carter_TCB

Just found out men don’t need prostate exams till at least 40. I think my doctor has a lot of explaining to do.