@CatherineLMK

Hey remember that snarky insult you threw my way three weeks ago? Well now I have comeback so please repeat it.

@CatherineLMK

I would make an awesome panda because I too excel at looking adorable while doing nothing.

@CatherineLMK

Please continue finishing your text in the crosswalk, Mr. Pedestrian. It’s not like I’m driving a giant metal instrument of death.

@CatherineLMK

I was just outsmarted by a revolving door but sure, I’ll be your baby’s godmother.

@CatherineLMK

Be warned, person who set of a whole bunch of fireworks at 4 am–you’ve made a minimally powerful enemy.

@CatherineLMK

I’m dressing for the weather I desperately want, not the weather I currently have.

@CatherineLMK

Should I ever go missing, please don’t let the news use my 7th grade picture.

@CatherineLMK

How come when someone says “we need to talk” it’s never about ice cream or Star Wars?

@CatherineLMK

The adult life I imagined as a child involved less laundry and more group dance numbers.

@CatherineLMK

Being an adult is like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles in a crowded theater, everyone else knows what’s going on and you just nod