@Celestinelea90

Husband called & asked what I was cooking for dinner then we laughed and laughed and then he said seriously what do you need at liquor store

@Celestinelea90

I asked my kids today if they felt we spent enough time together and they both texted back that we did so I guess we are all good.

@Celestinelea90

Her: You know when you’re craving a cheeseburger but you order a salad instead…

Me: (wiping ketchup off my face with my sleeve) No.

@Celestinelea90

My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery.

@celestinelea90

90% of the steps on my FiBit are just me wandering around looking for my keys

@celestinelea90

Was in the hot tub a full 3 minutes before I noticed the floating chipmunk so probably don’t ask me questions about a crime scene

@celestinelea90

*takes earrings out*
*takes bracelet off*
*slips out of shoes*
*tears off jeans, shirt, bra*
*shaves head*

Ok Doc you can weigh me now

@celestinelea90

This guy’s shirt said ‘blink if you want me’ and now my eyes are watering and I need to close them but ohmygod you guys I DO NOT WANT HIM