@ChabbyD

Oatmeal is supposed to be good for the heart but I’ve been rubbing it on my chest every day for a month and I don’t feel any different

@ChabbyD

My primary physician says I need to eat more ice cream sandwiches and this is why my seven year old is my primary physician.

@ChabbyD

You mix your whiskey with Coke, I mix mine with poor life choices.