@Cidisn

Look, woman, I’ll do laundry when I’m out of clean clothes. *puts on skirt* I didn’t say whose clothes.

@Cidisn

*turns around in chair dramatically*
Hello…
*chair turns around again*
…I’ve been expecting you…
*again*
…, Repair-Man.

@Cidisn

Auto mechanic: Well here’s your problem. The last person to work on this didn’t wash their hands after using the restroom.

@Cidisn

*sees a racoon in the neighbor’s trash*

I won’t say anything if you don’t.

*continues rummaging*