@ComradTwitty

My dad did not let me watch Dexter’s Labratory because he said it was unrealistic. “A lab that size would absolutely devastate the foundation of the house” he would say.

@ComradTwitty

I’m sick of men’s 3-in-1 body wash shampoo and conditioner. Throw toothpaste in there.

@ComradTwitty

You know why I’ve never been murdered in my sleep? Because I leave a cheese plate out for murderers every night. It’s called hospitality maybe look it up sometime.