@CornerPubRon

When my new neighbor dies, I’m going to hire the same tree removal service he has outside my window right now to work during his burial.

@CornerPubRon

Halloween is without question the easiest time of year to kill somebody and just leave their body decomposing on your porch for a month

@CornerPubRon

My computer is frozen. Unfortunately it looks like moving my mouse around in circles did absolutely nothing to fix the problem.

@CornerPubRon

After years of intense research, I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is actually the cremated remains of all my other socks.