Just checked my Farmville for the first time in a year. It’s now a Walmart.


I’m no architect, but I don’t think it’s possible to build a city on rock and roll.


*maintains eye contact with coworker while licking a yogurt lid for seventeen minutes*


Me: I should stop drinking

Me: Why?

Me: I dunno

Me: You’re awesome when you drink

Me: Really?

Me: Yeah

Me: Thanks, me. You’re alright