Once in my life I’d like a password or username prompt to be all, “Shit you’ve almost got it. You’re getting closer.”
Parents having a difficult time home schooling their kids – I really feel for you. Nothing could have prevented this. Well, except condoms probably.
Life hack: giant marshmallows make cheap teeth whitening strips
I just hid a big bag of Easter peanut butter cups in the back of the freezer. In July I’ll find them and be very pleased then convinced I have dementia.
I accidentally bought the “Super Long & Extra Absorbent” maxi pads this month and I think that’s why I have dry mouth.
While I was out walking the dog, I noticed a neighbour waving at me through their living room window. How nice!
So I waved back rather enthusiastically.
She was washing her window.
Single and never gonna mingle.
I tested positive for aloneavirus.
I went from “easy peasy lemon squeezy” to “messy distressy lemon zesty” in ten years.
I just ate a piece of carrot cake the size of my head. I feel so healthy.
I deep cleaned the carpet so now I guess we’ll live outside.