Less than two weeks until Canadian Thanksgiving.
Better start marinating the beaver.
I startled a mom and her kids in the Back To School aisle today at work.
I came around the corner and yelled SUPPLIES!
If you can’t say something nice, say something mortifying and kinky.
I got banged so hard today I’m still walking funny.
Sure it was my head vs the door of my vehicle but I’m still counting it.
I opened this great self-care app.
It’s called “the fridge.”
When you’re eating chips and dip there’s always the search for the “strong” chip to head into the dip to save the broken, weaker chips dying in the dip.
Welcome to Wednesday.
If you haven’t had a meltdown yet today, one will be assigned to you shortly.
Bonus points for tears, flinging feces, and swearing in Polish.
She looks like she does what the voices in her underwear tell her to do.
When the cashier at PetSmart asked me for my phone number I said it loud enough for the hot guy behind me in line to hear.
I might have repeated it.
The lady on the news said that alcohol sales are down significantly in Alberta.
I’ve been sober for 57 days.
So technically, I was on the news tonight.