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@Crunch11b : Every time I'm around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
@Crunch11b: I haven't been laid in so long that the Pope is laughing at me.
@Crunch11b: All is fair in drunk and war.
@Crunch11b: I self medicate, therefore you live.
@Crunch11b: I live 30 feet from my mother-in-law, Hell holds no surprises.
@Crunch11b: Calm down white moms on dish detergent commercials, no wife is EVER that excited about dishes. Ever.
@Crunch11b: "This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall."
-Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
@Crunch11b: Every time someone says, "at least it's a dry heat," I want to stab them with a box cutter.
*at least it's a short knife.
@Crunch11b: About delete my Facebook account, I hope Stacey and Heather from the 3rd grade can handle the rejection.