*creaking sounds upstairs*

Me: Alexa, what was that!?

Alexa: This home was built on land sacred to the indigenous people, now the spirit of the Wendigo is here to drag you to your death

*creaking intensifies*

Me: *purses lips* Next time, just say ghosts


Welcome to your 40s, sometimes you sleep so poorly you injure yourself


Out of Africa is my favorite movie about not having the continent you needed to finish your recipe