Maybe Canadians are nicer because they live closer to Santa.
People say, “All the good ones are taken.”
Which is absolutely true.
Me *whispers*: I need your mouth on me
Him: Yeah? Where?
M *fingers traveling down: Here
H: WTF is THAT?!
M: Snakebite. Stop wasting time
Female dragonflies will fake their own death if faced w/ unwanted attention from a male dragonfly.
You can learn so much from nature
Why are they called condoms and not woody hoodies?
Me: I’ve read the Bible cover to cover
Her: Yeah? Prove it.
H: What is the first sentence in it?
M: “Do not remove from motel”
This is an ugly term. This “Stalker”. I prefer unpaid investigator.