@Cyd10e: Old men's pants creep higher & higher up their waist into their armpits.
At the end of their lives they're just a pair of pants with a head.
@Cyd10e: My brother never donates blood because he hates the thought that his blood is having more fun in somebody else than it ever did in him.
@Cyd10e: We now live in an age where we rely on technology for even mundane tasks.
Think about it.
Some of you likely need GPS to find your backyard.
@Cyd10e: Bad News: One of the side effects of your medication is death.
Good News: Death pretty much cures anything.
@Cyd10e: There are some people who when they hit rock bottom, they refuse to just lie there...
They just pick up a shovel and started digging.
@Cyd10e: Good News: You mean the world to me.
Bad News: The world is pretty lousy right now.
@Cyd10e: If every day is a gift, I'd have to say today was a Fruitcake from Last Year Day.
Recycled, disappointing and held together by booze.
@Cyd10e: Y'know the trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music does.