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Page of DCpierson's best tweets

@DCpierson : MOST RESTAURANTS:

Waiter: "Have you dined with us before?"
You: "No."
Waiter: "Oh! Well, (*proceeds to describe a normal restaurant*)"

@DCpierson: A warlock cursed me to forever be standing in line behind people trying to remember the name of a movie, and I know exactly what movie it is

@DCpierson: So much gross product placement in THE SHINING. It's like, fine, I'll buy an axe.

@DCpierson: I'm a Lit major. I did my thesis on why my car is in the front yard and I'm sleeping with my clothes on.