@Dad_At_Law

The wife always talks to herself in the shower. She says that’s how she plans her day.

Don’t like eavesdropping. Just wanna make sure she’s not leaving us.

@Dad_At_Law

Every parent becomes a hostage negotiator when their toddler seizes control of an open bottle of syrup.

@Dad_At_Law

Is “oppressive” too harsh or do I just stick with “hostile work environment”?

I was told “you’re not my Dad anymore” and I’m updating my resume.