The cupcakes I started baking in my Easy Bake Oven in 1978 are ready.
Anybody want one?
I’m so old that if I was a Care Bear, I’d be Medicare Bear.
I can’t stop laughing 🤣
I hope it’s French Onion!
Here’s this year’s kid-friendly Halloween joke:
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts!
Happy Halloween 🎃
Ok, I’m disowning my entire family so that means y’all are my family now!
…I’m gonna need a head count for Thanksgiving, ok?
My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.
Once again, I’ve been asked to bring the bag of ice to the family Thanksgiving dinner.
My favorite type of men is ramen.
I got you a new pair of cement shoes!
Go ahead, try em on real quick…
I could finish folding this laundry much faster if the cat would stop “helping”!
Friend- Are you tired?
Me- Nope, just ugly.
If I was a Spice Girl, I’d be onion powder.