@DanielRCarrillo

“I’m a green onion and I’m here to say, I can be enjoyed most every day.”
-A rapscallion

@DanielRCarrillo

Raid™: For when you don’t want to kill ants, but want to make them late for something.

@DanielRCarrillo

Rejected names for lumberjacks:
-Woodroberts
-Treedaves
-Logjeffs
-Forestbills
-Timberjims

@DanielRCarrillo

If your opponent cracks his knuckles before a fight, have comfort knowing that osteoarthritis will, in due time, avenge your savage beating.

@DanielRCarrillo

Having pets adds 5 years to your life. Have thousands of pets, never stop owning pets. Become immortal. Laugh as your foes grow old and die