@Darlainky: I’m not saying my kids undermine my authority, mainly because they’ve not given me permission to.
@Darlainky: Me: Look to my left.
Friend: We’re facing the same way. Why don’t you say our left?
Me: I don’t like to share.
@Darlainky: My house fluctuates between smelling like a freshly baked cake or a tropical island vacation because aromatherapy provides what I cannot.
@Darlainky: *finds another dead plant on patio*
[shaking fist to sky] I can’t be the only one watering things around here!
@Darlainky: I confused the words “tinker” and “tinkle” and my neighbor no longer wants help with her computer.
@Darlainky: My son is sick. His symptoms include; fever, headache, and no desire to play XBox. In other words...it's very serious.