@Darlainky

When you’re craving a Krabby Patty so bad!!! But the Krusty Krab is closed….and also fictional.

@Darlainky

There’s no 5 second rule at my house.
The dog is much quicker than that.

@Darlainky

Don’t ask me for directions
I got lost on an elevator once.

@Darlainky

It’s like my whole life is just one horrendous karaoke song choice after another.

@Darlainky

Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism.

@Darlainky

You know what else is crazy?

*googles synonyms for crazy*

@Darlainky

I FREAKING SWEAR!! IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME WHAT AN EASY-GOING, PATIENT, AND CHILL PERSON I AM, I’M GONNA LOSE IT!!!!

@Darlainky

It’s like 10,000 goons
When all you need
Is a knight

@Darlainky

If these seasonal allergies don’t kill me, that person I just sneezed all over probably will.