@Darlainky: Beam me up, Scotty
Seam me up, tailor
Meme me up, internet
Team me up, sports agent
Steam me up, sauna
Dream me up, sleeper
Cream me up, barista
@Darlainky: Me to barking dog: You get away from that window. Leave the poor bunny rabbit alone.
Also me: I bought you a bunny squeak toy you can pretend to kill over and over.
@Darlainky: I told my aunt I love cooking with my Instapot, and judging by these edible recipes she just sent me she may have misunderstood.
@Darlainky: No one lays down beats like Gaston, fills the seats like Gaston, when on Twitter nobody tweets like Gaston.
@Darlainky: [Halloween party]
Him: What are you?
Me: An introvert.
Him: I don’t get it. It just looks like normal clothes.
Me: *already went home*
@Darlainky: Last night the Ghosts of Halloween Past, Present and Future visited me and all had the same message: Don’t eat 5 bags of Reese’s Pumpkins again this year.