@Dawn_M_

Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn’t burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You.

@Dawn_M_

Some of you have had some fabulous public meltdowns this year.

From all of us, thank you x

@Dawn_M_

It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are.
Preposterous.

@Dawn_M_

I swear babe, I’m a virgin, it must be a miracle.

*Joseph rolls eyes

@Dawn_M_

Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.

@Dawn_M_

Do you remember that creepy girl who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair?

Hi!

@Dawn_M_

Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track.

@Dawn_M_

They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They’re all together ooky

The Twitter Family

*click click*