@DeadLioness

This holiday season, make sure to confront your family about current issues like for example: how they choose to pronounce “pecans”.

@DeadLioness

There is “Tea” in Team and I am not sure what I am trying to say here but it’s very inspirational.

@DeadLioness

[Rain]

Earthworms: yes yes yes the prophecy is happening again, we will surface to the top and march on the sidewalk for no reason yes

@DeadLioness

CDC wants to be clear that only weddings should be canceled due to Covid-19, but if you’re already married then that’s still going on.

@DeadLioness

More photos of empty shelves in stores please, I love seeing the shelving infrastructure of each store.

@DeadLioness

A rat followed me home in a dark street in DC, so I pretended I was on the phone with an exterminator

@DeadLioness

Friend: “so how did you two meet?”
No Woman Ever: “he cat-called me in the street and we have been together ever since”

@DeadLioness

Weird how we never hear stories about ghosts with mullets, hair spray or huge Afros that haunt people. It’s always those 19th century pricks

@DeadLioness

Running with my dog, holding his poop in a small, lavender scented, biodegradable bag like the top-of-the-food-chain creature that I am.