@DearAuntAbby

Apparently I need to go on a diet if I want to have room in my pockets for snacks. Why is life so hard?

@DearAuntAbby

I hate when I’m waiting for the elevator and someone else casually walks up and presses the button to open the elevator door.

@DearAuntAbby

I’m way too old for this shit.
*What I say every day as if I’m suddenly gonna start getting younger.

@DearAuntAbby

Qsieowrrtpd
That’s me picking off pieces of quinoa from my iPad

@DearAuntAbby

This year I have a few special people on my list that will get expired gift cards wrapped up with tons of glitter.

@DearAuntAbby

I could save myself a whole bunch of time if I could just remember to take the cap off of my lip balm before using hand lotion.

@DearAuntAbby

If someone at the party talks about tossing the salad I instinctively look to see who is trying to hold in their giggles.

@DearAuntAbby

Trix are for kids, but when my favorite rabbit gets together with the Energizer bunny it’s grownup time.

@DearAuntAbby

The best thing about wearing socks all the time is being able to clean coffee spills without lifting a finger.