Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of DevilryFun's best tweets

@DevilryFun : Neighbor found religion and I found spirits.

@DevilryFun: I’ve consumed so much raw cookie dough the Pillsbury Doughboy made a pass at me.

@DevilryFun: My Fitbit mistook my panic attack for high intensity interval training.

@DevilryFun: I got a head start on decorating for Halloween by not dusting the last six months.

@DevilryFun: My swear jar is overflowing with IOUs that no bank will guarantee.

@DevilryFun: Our neighborhood watch is just dogs barking warnings every time they see a squirrel.

@DevilryFun: Drinking pineapple juice will improve your complexion and adding rum will improve others’ looks.

@DevilryFun: My doctor said to have a reasonable meal for dinner, so I talked some sense into my pizza.

@DevilryFun: Before marriage: fantasizes spending life together.

After marriage: fantasizes spending life insurance alone.

@DevilryFun: Looking back, my financial health took a turn for the worse right after I broke my piggy bank.