Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@DevilryFun : Neighbor found religion and I found spirits.
@DevilryFun: I’ve consumed so much raw cookie dough the Pillsbury Doughboy made a pass at me.
@DevilryFun: My Fitbit mistook my panic attack for high intensity interval training.
@DevilryFun: I got a head start on decorating for Halloween by not dusting the last six months.
@DevilryFun: My swear jar is overflowing with IOUs that no bank will guarantee.
@DevilryFun: Our neighborhood watch is just dogs barking warnings every time they see a squirrel.
@DevilryFun: Drinking pineapple juice will improve your complexion and adding rum will improve others’ looks.
@DevilryFun: My doctor said to have a reasonable meal for dinner, so I talked some sense into my pizza.
@DevilryFun: Before marriage: fantasizes spending life together.
After marriage: fantasizes spending life insurance alone.
@DevilryFun: Looking back, my financial health took a turn for the worse right after I broke my piggy bank.
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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