Using Romeo & Juliet to express how inlove you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
I love children, especially when they cry and someone takes them away.
The police never think its as funny as you do.
A boy at church was asked if he knew what the resurrection was. “Yes, and if it lasts more than 4 hours you’re supposed to see a doctor.”
There’s 3 ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone or forbid your kids to do it.
I ran into my ex husband the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.