Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of Diversion50's best tweets

@Diversion50 : DAVID BOWIE: We can be heroes!

ME: Great!

DAVID BOWIE: Just for one day.

ME: Oh. OK.

*bins blueprint for Batcave*

@Diversion50: My worst case scenarios:

•A case falling on me.
•Being hit with a case.
•Being locked inside a case.
•Carrying a case for a long distance.

@Diversion50: POLICE OFFICER: Your name?

MAN: The Rock.

POLICE OFFICER: Your FULL name?

MAN: [quietly] Theodore Rockinghorse.

@Diversion50: "There's someone out there for everyone".

A really vague Receptionist.

@Diversion50: Who called it Star Trek III - The Search For Spock and not Finding Nemoy?

@Diversion50: I was on a search party in the forest last night.

Bit of a boring party.

We found a dead guy though.

@Diversion50: I like to imagine the person who originated Head & Shoulders shampoo had really, really hairy shoulders.

@Diversion50: It still really upsets me that my dog stopped talking to me around the same time I gave up taking hallucinogenic drugs.

@Diversion50: The letter n always has to be the centre of attention.

@Diversion50: Appendi
Appendii
Appendiii
Appendiv
Appendv
Appendvi
Appendvii
Appendviii
Appendix