@Dmvm1977

When I get home to find my wife naked in the tub, seductively asking me to “warm her up”, I dont waste a second..

to throw in a hairdryer

@Dmvm1977

Whenever I’m feeling low, I grab a pen.. and I write something joyful and happy to lift my spirits.

Today I’m writing my bosses obituary.

@Dmvm1977

OMG! My boss has choked on his sandwich and stopped breathing!! Should I call an ambulance?

Its been 16hrs.. I didn’t wanna make a fuss.