@DosieDoe

I had a race with a smart car today.

I was winning at first but my God there’s so much I can walk.

@DosieDoe

US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today.

@DosieDoe

*Do not consume if seal is broken*

I’ve just gone through this whole box of animal crackers and haven’t found one seal.

@DosieDoe

I really don’t have much respect for those that take drugs and alcohol.

Like Customs, for example.