Never let me in your house because I will do stuff like this
Practice self-care like a mummy, wrap your body tightly with a blanket & curse anyone who tries to find you.
Remember, you can disappear in an overgrown greenhouse whenever you want. You’re an adult.
If someone asks what you are doing on Halloween, earnestly look at the sky & say “I will be reaching my final form.”
Whenever I’m feeling stressed I like to take a deep breath & think about every mistake I have ever made.
Be the reason why your local woods are haunted
Marriage goals: I will die of mysterious causes & you will be the most feared widow in the village.
As your goth husband I will adorn you with cursed artifacts then die mysteriously leaving you to be the most feared widow in the village.
Coffee is great because if you drink too much you realize there are tiny spiders under your skull weaving hair.
If you know someone who effortlessly falls asleep every night, that is a demon. You’re friends with a demon.