Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of DraggingFeeties's best tweets

@DraggingFeeties : "Your meal is being prepared and should be delivered in 30-45 minutes"

Perfect. Just enough time to eat a sleeve of Oreos.

@DraggingFeeties: Stop putting cauliflower where there once was something delicious.

@DraggingFeeties: The hardest part of making new friends is weeding out the people who just want to sell you leggings.

@DraggingFeeties: All I want is for my kids to have a good sense of humor. They don't have to be funny, just need to be able to recognize how hilarious I am.

@DraggingFeeties: I'm just your average mom, trying to convince my kids that 4:45pm is indeed their bedtime, because I've had enough of their shit for one day