As I get older and continue to meet new people… I realize that swallowing should be more of a thing.
You’re telling me that you paid eight dollars for a cup of coffee…
They don’t put any booze in it or nothin?
They ordered two extra large pizzas at work.
I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
*moonwalks into office* *draws dual finger guns* *fires off seven shots at Annie from HR* *holsters guns* *gets chosen for random drug test*
I’d like to thank the British for wearing red coats and making it easier to shoot them 238 years ago. We couldn’t have done this without you
I’m sitting here watching this married couple argue in this restaurant. Then their 8 year old says “oh great, dinner and a show.” Priceless.