*gets drunk outside*
*gets drunk inside*
Saying “excape “makes me wanna stab you in the “exophagus”.
Hi, welcome to Necrophiliac Club.
Who wants a cold one?
Had sex in a kiddie pool full of jam once.
*pops jean jacket collar*
I got marmalaid.
“My lips are sealed.”
*sees couple holding hands*
*violently breaks them apart*
“Go. You’re free now.”
*starts throwing a fit*
Iron man: Here. Eat a Snickers.
Doctor Banner: Thanks, bro.
Will you have sex with me?
Okay, like, I don’t speak French. BLINK ONCE FOR NO AND TWICE FOR YES.
“Head or tail?”
Her: That’s not how this works!
Psychologist: Go to your happy place.
Me: *grabs car keys*
Psychologist: Where are you going?
Me: The liquor store.