@DumbConfessions: Had sex in a kiddie pool full of jam once.
*pops jean jacket collar*
I got marmalaid.
@DumbConfessions: *sees couple holding hands*
*violently breaks them apart*
"Go. You're free now."
@DumbConfessions: *starts throwing a fit*
Iron man: Here. Eat a Snickers.
Doctor Banner: Thanks, bro.
@DumbConfessions: [in Paris]
Will you have sex with me?
Okay, like, I don't speak French. BLINK ONCE FOR NO AND TWICE FOR YES.
@DumbConfessions: Psychologist: Go to your happy place.
Me: *grabs car keys*
Psychologist: Where are you going?
Me: The liquor store.