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@DumbConfessions : Yay summer!
*gets drunk outside*
*gets drunk inside*
@DumbConfessions: Saying "excape "makes me wanna stab you in the "exophagus".
@DumbConfessions: Hi, welcome to Necrophiliac Club.
Who wants a cold one?
@DumbConfessions: Had sex in a kiddie pool full of jam once.
*pops jean jacket collar*
I got marmalaid.
@DumbConfessions: "My lips are sealed."
@DumbConfessions: *sees couple holding hands*
*violently breaks them apart*
"Go. You're free now."
@DumbConfessions: *starts throwing a fit*
Iron man: Here. Eat a Snickers.
Doctor Banner: Thanks, bro.
@DumbConfessions: [in Paris]
Will you have sex with me?
Okay, like, I don't speak French. BLINK ONCE FOR NO AND TWICE FOR YES.
@DumbConfessions: *flips coin*
"Head or tail?"
Her: That's not how this works!
@DumbConfessions: Psychologist: Go to your happy place.
Me: *grabs car keys*
Psychologist: Where are you going?
Me: The liquor store.