@ElizaBayne

HOT SINGLES HAVE MIGRATED AWAY FROM YOUR AREA DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE

@ElizaBayne

Ashley Madison website is having problems. But instead of addressing them directly, it’ll just look for a younger hotter website on the side

@ElizaBayne

To all the men out there without ponytails: What are you afraid of? SUCCESS???

@ElizaBayne

You’re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU’RE RICH

@ElizaBayne

This Viagra show looks cool but they keep cutting away to football

@ElizaBayne

If the British had won, today we’d all be celebrating the Fouurth of July

@ElizaBayne

Kesha dropping the $ sign from her name just shows how bad the economy really is

@ElizaBayne

My nickname is Gilette because I’m the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you

@ElizaBayne

If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now