@Eric_Bader

I overheard someone say all Asians are ninjas. I would’ve told him how racist that sounded but he was black and I didn’t want to get mugged.

@Eric_Bader

If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn’t start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I’m going to be so pissed.

@Eric_Bader

Isn’t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don’t know what ironic means.

@Eric_Bader

Got laid twice in two days so either I’ve done something really good or my wife has done something really bad.

@Eric_Bader

Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat.