I overheard someone say all Asians are ninjas. I would’ve told him how racist that sounded but he was black and I didn’t want to get mugged.
If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn’t start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I’m going to be so pissed.
Isn’t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don’t know what ironic means.
Got laid twice in two days so either I’ve done something really good or my wife has done something really bad.
I use to bleach my bangs so I know about regret.
Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat.